I heart Joni.

Sometimes I think I must be deranged, maybe even a tad perverted. What other reason can there be for the attraction I feel for this supremely beautiful woman?

It's bad enough that she's married, even though my feelings for her are hardly lustful. They are as innocent as a young schoolboy's crush. As harmless as the affection a brother shares with a sister.

More or less, the whole thing is as if I were infatuated with a TV or movie star...you know, how some guys get with Angelina Jolie and some gals are with Brad Pitt.

Yeah, that's it! She's my favorite TV star! I can do without all the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girls. I'm long past the age where air-brushed nude Playboy centerfold vixens take my breath away. The runway models with their heroin chic absolutely leave me cold.

What I like in a woman is class. Integrity. A real lady who is not afraid to put herself out on the line if the cause is right. A woman with talent but enough modesty not to flaunt it.

And that exceptional woman is...
JONI LAMB!!!
Joni is the star of her own television talk show on the Daystar television network. In case your local cable or satellite provider does not carry it, Daystar is a Christian religious TV station. It's more or less a snazzier version of TBN. I'd say the ratio of quacks to genuine evangelists on TBN is probably 95 to 5. With Daystar it's a little bit better, they maybe have a 75 to 25 differential. Unfortunately some of the biggest goofballs are on BOTH networks. Benny Hinn, Rod Parsley, the downright frightening Mike Murdock, Perry Stone and one of the creepiest guys in western civilization, Steve Munsey.

The only competition Joni's got in the looks department is another woman who buys up airtime on TBN, the sexy and sensual Paula White. Paula used to do a lot of conferences with T.D. Jakes and she could hold her own with the man. Anyone who has seen Jakes at work can testify that this is no small praise.

Now the sassy Ms. White (who sometimes comes off as religious TV's answer to Oprah) is indeed a hottie, especially when she gets all riled up. Her petite figure and radiant, short cut platinum blonde hair are a wonder to behold. Some of the younger male TBN viewers could easily be tempted to think improper thoughts while watching Paula. I'm 45 and I have...(just kiddin' there, folks).

That's all fine and dandy, but for my money, Joni Lamb is the cutest gal on TV. I detest almost everything about "Christian TV", but I find myself checking to see if Joni is on. There's one thing Daystar has going in it's favor...I doubt you'll find too many guys tuning into TBN for a good look at Jan Crouch.

10, maybe 15 years ago I would have been a Paula White groupie. It is very likely that I wouldn't have found Joni Lamb nearly as good looking as I do now. But, mister, let me tell you I have come to see the light. When she's up there on that stage performing with the enormously talented Daystar Singers it makes me happier than a cop in a donut shop.

Now her husband Charles is not quite as charismatic as his wife (obviously I don't mean that in the sense of the "Charismatic" branches of a particular denomination), but he seems like a nice enough guy. His goatee is kinda funny, but that's no crime. I don't know how such a timid guy can tame a queen lion like Joni, though. Maybe he takes on another, more aggressive persona when he's off-screen. Who knows, he might beat her on a regular basis. I'd like to think not.

I will say this about the feller. There's no way he can begin to know how lucky he is to have Joni by his side. Like Gillette, she's the best a man can get.

Who loves ya, babe?