1. My wallet...I wasn't even buying the killer bud, but I was still spending over $100 a month on dope. That might not seem like a lot to some folks, but within MY economy it was inexcusable. Now that I'm not buying weed anymore I often wonder where all that money came from. I sure don't have it to spend now.
2. The uncertainty of hook-ups...I never really had what you'd call a "solid connection". Some of my connections didn't even have "solid connections" themselves, so hooking up was usually a hit-or-miss affair. I'd become so dependent on pot that I'd stress like the devil when it looked like I was out of luck and my elation upon receiving confirmation that the hook-up was a done deal was ridiculously jubilant. I don't miss that at all.
3. Travelling paranoia...Now this is probably the main one that made me quit smoking (though I'll not go into the details of the particular incident that inspired the decision). Basically it's pretty much what it sounds like it is. Excessive (and unsubstantiated) fear of the things that could conceivably go wrong while driving. For instance, I was scared of high speeds because in the back of my mind I would be thinking of just how fast I was going and what would happen if I ran the car into a tree at 70 mph. Crazy, I know, but that's how the weed affected me.
In addition to that I was terrified of other motorists. I just knew that one of them was going to run me over and it would probably be one of those monster 18-wheeler semi trucks. Oh how I trembled when someone passed me.
Now that I'm drug free my driving is back to normal. I really don't know how I ever drove stoned, and I swear to you that I'll never do it again.
4. Post hook-up homeward bound driving anxiety...The only thing worse than actually not hooking up was the drive home after hooking up. I'd been known to drive over 100 miles and back to buy one sack of pot and all of my "connections" (all TWO of them) were from 30 to 60 miles away. So the trip back, with the sack stuffed in my sock was a tense one as I obsessed over the possibility of Johnny Law catching me. I was always lucky and I never got caught with weed but I exhaled a relieved sigh of relief and said a prayer of thanks as soon as I pulled into the driveway. There were three times when I was pulled over for whatever reason, but I guess I didn't look like a trouble maker to the cop and I got off with warnings for my infraction of the law. They never even suspected that I had marijuana on me. The last time it happened I thought for sure I was gonna get busted because the inside of the car smelled of pot smoke. The officer must have had a stopped up nose or something because he didn't appear to notice it.
5. My physical health...You know you're a hardcore stoner when you begin to hack up dark, grey phlegm and you decide that that's an acceptable price to pay to keep getting high. Same goes with wheezing like you have emphysema. I suffered from both of those maladies and chalked it up to something every pothead probably goes through. It got so bad that I would buy Primatine mist, even though I don't have asthma, and use it to get some relief. I wasn't the only one, either, as I recall one of my friends asking to borrow it. Since I gave up bud I've been able to breathe much easier.
6. I like dreaming...Yes, I do like to dream. Doesn't everyone? All the time I smoked pot I could not remember my dreams upon waking. The times when I didn't have any weed (like when it was a dry spell or when all of my hook-ups went belly-up) I would have the most vivid dreams and retention was good. Then I'd start toking again and, POOF, they were all gone. I realize that everyone dreams every night, but in my case I couldn't remember a damn thing about them, and that, my friends, is just as bad as not dreaming at all. I am presently enjoying my dreams very much, thank you.
7. My mental health...Who knows how all that grass affected my bipolar disorder. Funny thing, I thought I was having to smoke more and more to get even a little of the same effect that I wanted (and was used to). Then I figured it out. I was taking mood stabilizing medication and it was keeping the marijuana from doing it's mood elevating job. God only knows how much money I wasted trying to keep up with this imbalance.
More insidious, IMO, is "the burn out factor", which, of course, I had convinced myself would never happen to me. With pot every thing you do is a unique experience, the weed only intensifies it. Now that may sound just great, but before long you find yourself yearning for something fresh and discarding the things you've already done. For example, there was nothing I liked more than to get high and listen to music. At one point I listened to the Beatles entire catalogue and it was mind-blowing. Just awesome, as you might expect it to be. But over the course of the next few years I had no desire to listen to any of their records because I'd already "experienced" them and I wanted "new experiences", even though I knew it would be great listening. Maybe I was just afraid that a repeat "experience" wouldn't live up to the first one.
As you may imagine, I went through my CD collection pretty quickly (and mine is a formidable one if I say so myself). There was nothing I wanted to hear anymore. Even my XM radio became boring because with it I would get tired of genres instead of bands.
Obviously this is unacceptable for someone who loves music like I do. Now that I'm "clean and sober" I find that I listen to music for it's own sake, and even as I'm listening to one album I can't help but think of what I want to listen to next. I'm hearing things I'd never heard in songs that I've heard a hundred times before and I'm surprised to say that I'm enjoying music much more than I ever did while high. The pot had me convinced that I would find it boring without that warm and fuzzy high.
I could give you more than 7 reasons why I'm glad I quit smoking pot, but that's enough for now.
I'm not out to preach, to try to convert dopers into a lifestyle of abstinence. I'm only relating my own personal experience. I'd be lying if I said that no one should smoke...I know people for whom it is a therapeutic drug. But I thought it was that for me, too, and now I know better.
I'd also be lying if I said I didn't get just a bit of a craving for it now and then. I suppose that's natural for someone breaking a long-time habit (15 years). Regardless, I am never going to get stoned again.
You can bank on that, my friends.
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