FIVE MORE DAYS!!!!!

SIX DAYS UNTIL SIGUR ROS!!!!!

Yeah, I know all about your people
How they worship drunken image
How they've exalted you to the status
Of a hero, a legend
A mythological god
Bacchus best buddy
You keep good company
but swine follow you
Different as day and night
Yet they all clamor for a good seat
They fight and swing fists
For a place in the front row
For the chance that a stream of gin-soaked spittle might splat on one of their faces
a soothing balm
a gob of stench and sputum
They gather it up
They mix it with mud
Thicken it into gel
and bow down to a snot green idol
a pus dripping idol
They'll worship it at the foot of the mountain
The towering landfill where you've brought them
Or they'll bring it to your ceremonies
They wave your banner in the air
A colorful representation of the Beefeater
Proud of their devotion
Proud of their status as "The Chosen"
Not necessarily
Sure
Of the WHYS or the WHEREFORES
You just seemed to be worth the trouble
Worth a laugh to watch you
To see you falling down
To hear your words of wisdom
(True wise words they are, too)
Slurred into gibberish
You are their man
Whose oracles remain silent
Lost in a deep dream that swirls through your sleep-dizzy mind
Whose glory and honor
Fall down
From your pulpit
In the center of a room full of people
99% of whom see YOU
Not as a profit
Not as a beatnik
Not as a poet
Not as a sage
Not as a seeker
Not as an asgst ridden agnostic
No idol
No god
99% know exactly
What you are

Few know WHO you are
Sometimes I think I do
In little ways you show me
In trivial ways you make it known
Beyond
the Shadow
of a doubt...
But the reality is...
I DON'T

"Lars and the Real Girl"

Ryan Gosling has not yet done a movie that I didn’t like. “Stay” is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen, bar none. He was excellent in Fracture”. He’s shaping up, in my opinion, to be one of the “greats”.

I rented “Lars and the Real Girl” on the strength of his starring role alone. I was not disappointed. He played the character with an endearing quirkiness.

You’d think that a story about a man falling in love with what amounts to a “sex doll” would be just plain silly. If it were that kind of movie I wouldn’t be writing about it now. I wouldn’t have sat through five minutes of something along those lines.

Instead Gosling treats us to one of his best performances. It could not have been easy for him to make the character of Lars seem like anything more than a total crackpot. Yet he pulls it off. He makes you care about this guy. He plays him with dignity. He never overdoes the “mentally ill thing”. Instead he makes you want to look deeper into Lars’ psyche to find out what makes him tick (as opposed to “what makes him the way he is”).

“Lars and the Real Girl” is worth seeing, but it does try too hard to guide the viewer into however many layers of meaning and allegory it undoubtedly has. Most of them are easy enough to suss out without the overt “clues” given. No one in their right mind would take this tale seriously if they didn’t know that symbolism was going to share the bill with the lead. It’s not subtle, even if it IS thought provoking.

Haven’t had anything to say the last couple of days…not that I ever really have anything to say, but you know what I mean. I don’t think I’ve bounced back from the depression I succumbed to a couple of weeks ago. It’s not like I’ve been living under a dark cloud of gloom 24 hours a day, but I’ve been exhibiting some of the usual symptoms of my downward slide. I’ve been easily irritated and, I’m sure, extremely irritating to those around me. I have very little patience for anything and/or anyone. It lets up periodically, but not for too long.

I hope that it eases up soon. That’s one of the worst things about bipolar disorder. You know this awful mood is part of the illness and you can’t really do anything about it. Just wait until it’s run it’s course and be glad it’s a depression as opposed to a serious manic swing.

It’s fucked up to think that a person could actually be grateful for such a terrible state-of-mind. It’s nothing to be “thankful” for, but that’s not what I mean. It’s more like I’m so glad that my bipolar is manifesting itself in the depression and not escalating to a psychotic manic episode. I can deal with the depression well enough, and to be honest, it hasn’t been as bad as I’ve felt it in the past (I assume that is a positive result of the medication I’m on).

Still…….blah. What a messed up life I live.

But I DO live. And I don’t want to experience the alternative any time soon. If I have to walk an emotional tightrope in order to exist, I will have to be content with that. It could be a lot worse. Don’t get the impression that I’m complaining. I just get worn out sometimes. I wish it weren’t such a hard decision, to love myself or to hate myself. I wonder if it’s even my decision to make. Right now I don’t think it is.

Nevertheless…SIX DAYS UNTIL SIGUR ROS!!! Perhaps that will pull me up and set me on a more manageable keel.

Music Video of the Week: Bloodrock

Shut down the Sigur Ros jukebox above before playing video.

"Lucky In The Morning"
Bloodrock
I loved these guys when I was a youngster. This is the only video footage I've ever seen of them. It doesn't start up at the very beginning of the song, but most of it is there.

In a way I almost wish there had been music videos back in those days. It would be interesting to see how "D.O.A." would have been interpreted in that format.

But I'm glad there was no MTV in the early 70's. There's no way any video director could have made that song any creepier than it is. In fact, they probably would have screwed it up.

Would have been nice, however, to be able to see more live performances like this one...

Another long day.

We took the car to a body shop in Shawnee. The windshield had been broken for a long time. When the hail storm came through a couple of months ago it did some damage to the hood and roof, but the insurance adjustor signed off on having the windshield fixed as well. Allstate, folks. You’re in good hands with ‘em.

Stopped off at Starbucks, and if you can believe it, this was the first time I’ve ever been in one. The odor of coffee hits you the moment you walk in the door and it’s heavenly. I had the caramel machico espresso. Nice and strong. The wife said it was TOO strong. Nah.

We had a good chunk of time we had to kill waiting for the car to get worked on, so we decided to go Oklahoma City. It had been a long time since we’d gone to the Omnidome, so that turned out to be the plan.

We arrived a bit early so we figured we might as well get a bite to eat. Surprisingly there are very few eateries in that area. You’d think there would be several choices. Not only is the Omnidome (OK Science Museum) located there, but the Zoo, Remington Park, and several other, smaller museums.

Strapped for time, we found ourselves at a McDonalds. There was a time when I didn’t mind their food. I’ve never been crazy about it, but these days I don’t care for it at all. I think my distaste stems from the time, a couple of years ago, when I gorged myself on Double Cheeseburgers. I don’t know why I never noticed it before, but the meat was a bit gristly. If there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s gristly meat. I thought it might just be the stuff they use in the Double Cheeseburgers. They’re a lot cheaper than the other sandwiches. But no, I got a Big Mac not too much later and it was just as bad.

In a pinch I’ll eat there. Unfortunately I don’t care much for anything else on the menu besides the burgers. So I ate a Big Mac and tried not to think about it.

We bought our tickets to the Omnidome about 8 minutes before the show was to begin. Just as we’re heading for the theater we get a call from the body shop. They said that something was wrong with out gear shift…they backed it up out of the parking lot, then when they tried to put it in first gear something snapped and it went limp. The guy said they could fix it, and maybe I was wrong but I was under the strong impression that it was something they had done so they could charge us more. I was a bit miffed about it throughout the rest of the day, but as it turned out they were able to repair it for free. You have to understand…I’d never had ANY problems with the transmission in this car and I had just driven it 25 miles to get there. Was it merely coincidence that it screwed up at the exact same time that a mechanic was scheduled to work on it? Oh, well. It turned out for the best.

Back to the Omnidome. The feature we saw was about the Grand Canyon. Wow! If you’ve never been to the Omnidome I whole heartedly recommend it. It’s the next best thing to being there. I’ve seen three or four Omnidome films before this one and they’ve all been fantastic.

A visit to Barnes and Noble followed. Amazingly, I got out of there without a single thing. Bryan found a book that proports to improve the singing voice. He’s been working on that for a while now, and this seemed like just what he needed. It was all he wanted, at least, until I showed him an issue of Mad Classic. So he got two things. Swell.

Returned to the Body Shop and picked up the car. On the way home I stopped at the Shawnee Goodwill thrift store and bought a couple of books. I found a nice hardbound copy of Roget’s Thesaurus. Our copy is paperback and has fewer entries. Also found a hardbound anthology, “The Best of Weird Tales”. One can never have too many fantasy story collections in the personal library.

So that’s about all I have for today. Lot of diary type posts the last few days, huh? I’m thinking of writing something a little more “weighty” in the near future. Something along the lines of “What is it like for me to live with bipolar disorder?” Promises to be a fun read for one and all.

9 DAYS UNTIL SIGUR ROS!!!!!!

Okay, I guess it was a pretty good day.

We went shopping and got a lot of stuff we’ve needed for a long time. Clothes, mainly. But I’m most excited about the new computer keyboard we bought at Staples. It’s a Logitech Wave Wireless w/wireless mouse. The layout and the border make’s it easier on the wrists. I’ve really needed something like it for a long time.

The wireless mouse will, I hope, also make things easier on my right wrist. It may be the crappy desk we’re using, but there is a huge bruise on the underside of the wrist. I’ve been wearing a wrist support, but I think it may be the culprit. Whatever it is, I’ve got to do something about it soon. Between it and the eye strain I’m experiencing my computing experience is suffering. We’re planning on purchasing a “vertical mouse” (I don’t know if that’s what they’re called, but it’s an apt description). That will surely do the trick.

As for the eye problem…I think the problem is the crappy glasses that I got last September. I’ve had nothing but grief ever since I started wearing them. I’m convinced that the doctor got the prescription wrong, or maybe the manufacturer screwed up. Either way, I’m not going back to his office. I’ll drive the 50 miles out of the way to see the optometrist who did my last pair.

I also bought a really cool book about Bruce Springsteen. It’s called “Postcards From E Street”, and in addition to the text there are a lot of nice facsimiles of various Boss-related ephemera. Reproductions of set lists, backstage passes, concert tickets, posters…just a lot of neat stuff.

I bought my son his first issue of Mad magazine. I felt like I was passing on a legacy. I still remember the first time I ever read Mad. Fond memory, that one. A lot has changed over the years…the drawing is in color now. Then there is that crappy television version that you have to forget about in order to fully appreciate the magazine. It’s a bit raunchier than I remember it being. But it seems to have the same effect on my boy as it did on me. He read the entire thing from cover to cover when we got home, and I heard much laughter from the other room.

TEN DAYS UNTIL THE SIGUR ROS SHOW!!!!!!!!

Sigur Ros' "Glosoli" backwards

While assembling this month's video line-up for The Listening Station I found this incredible "video". It's nothing but Sigur Ros' song "Glosoli" reversed, but WOW! I don't know what to say! It's awesome! I know there's got to be some reversed parts in the "normal" version, but the whole thing sounds really cool, like another song. That just doesn't usually happen when you spin a disc backwards.

Bob Larson goes Big Time...watch out, you pesky demons

It looks like zealous demon chaser BOB LARSON is poised for stardom. Apparently he's doing a "reality" show for the Sci-Fi channel (picked a good network for that one, if you catch my drift). Called "The REAL Exorcist", it begins airing in October (nice Halloween tie-in there). Though details at his website were pretty much non-existant, one can only hope that he'll be delivering his usual schtick: demonic eviction with a side order of "hare 'em scare 'em" evangelism.

I first became aware of Larson when I initially became a Christian at Falls Creek Baptist Assembly. They had a bookstore there and I picked up his treatise on how all rock music is a tool of Satan to steal the souls of impressionable young folks. With a simple title like "ROCK" I don't think I was prepared, when I bought it, for the all-out onslaught against what was, at the time, my favorite kind of music. Who knew that all these musicians had really sold their souls to ole slew foot for a chance to make a few bucks, screw a few groupies and take legions of fans into the fiery depths of hell in the bargain.

I may have bought into it for a while...a SHORT while, I assure you. I was only 16 years old...cut me some slack. I was consumed with a desire to please the Lord, and if that meant abandoning my Led Zeppelin albums and listening to nothing but cheezy contemporary Christian music, well that was a small price to pay for ensuring my place in the heavenly choir (not that contemporary Christian music is inherently cheezy, but it was in the late 70s, with a scant few notable exceptions).

Maybe I was just too "worldly", maybe my flesh had more control over me than my spirit, but it wasn't too long after absorbing Larson's bizarre vitriol that I tossed it where it belonged...right into the dumpster. A gift for the trash man or some homeless dude who might not yet have been enlightened to the real 'meaning" of the letters in KISS' name (...I bet there aren't too many out there who DON'T know that one...Knights In Satan's Service).

I caught up with his ministry several years later when I saw him doing his exorcism trick on TBN (cautiously placed in the 2:00 am time slot...I suspect this was done to avoid freaking out typical viewers who surely were in bed and sleeping by then). It was one of the most fascinating things I'd ever seen. I took it for what it was: total bullshit, but it was like going to a carnival and spending 30 minutes in the freak show. I would stay up on the nights it was aired, no matter how late, just to watch the weirdness. Those devil-possessed folks in the congregation were entertaining as hell...but you had to wonder why a demon would be stupid enough to show up in the congregation of a church! That's like John Hagee showing up at a shindig in the Playboy Mansion.

Since then Larson has changed very little. He still writes books, but as far as I know he's left off slandering the rockers in favor of warning the world about Lucifer's life-wrecking techniques.

The way I see it, the Devil's a loser. He wastes his time breaking down spiritual doors to invade the soul of some peanut farmer in Arkansas when he could be doing some serious damage through Oprah Winfrey or Simon Cowell or maybe even the president of the United States of America...what's that you say? He IS doing that? Ooops! Where's Bob Larson when you REALLY need him?

At any rate, these unfortunate church-going souls that the "REAL" exorcist is delivering from evil are small fry, don't you think? I mean, Osama Bin Laden is still at large...

To top it all off, in garish style, just look at the get-up this dude is sporting for the Sci-Fi network show. It's pathetic. I have never once seen him in a shawl and what the fuck is he planning to do with that cast iron cross he's wielding? Is this a new spin on his act, perhaps the work of the wardrobe department at Sci-Fi?

I'll be there. You know I will. Entertainment of this magnitude is seldom to be found on television these days.

But I'll tell you this...we're in the big time now. The victims on this show had better exhibit much more pronounced signs of possession than the ones that were on his show. No Screwtape induced epileptic seizures or hateful growling and name-callings. I won't be satisfied with your garden variety blaspheming. Pull out all the stops, Evil One...I wanna see pea soup vomit. I wanna see heads spinning. I wanna see that cross Larson is holding snatched away from him and used as a sex toy. I wanna hear Motley Crue in the background. If Satan can't conjure some decent special effects on this show he will lose lots of credibility with every death metal head banger who ever to pledged allegiance to his wickedness.

Mark it down...October, 2008. THE SPIRITUAL BATTLE BEGINS! In this corner, fresh from a successful seminar on Satanic Ritual Abuse, BOB LARSON! In the other corner...REALITY! The Devil's not in this one, folks. I don't think the Big Guy wants much to do with it, either.