Sometime last week the rain let up for a few days so I got out and mowed the lawn Sunday evening (the break in the rain lasted only a couple of days...it's been raining pretty steady now since last night).
So, anyway, I'm out there mowing the lawn, much like I always do. I was about 1/3 of the way done with the backyard when the noisy push mower knocked a hedge. I stepped back a little bit and was quite surprised to see a rather large snake emerging from beneath. That sucker had to be at least 4 feet long and he slithered slowy across the length of the lawn. His tube-like body made a continually shifting "S" shape as he crawled across the tall grass, head raised up like a periscope on a submarine, shiny red tongue darting in and out of it's mouth.
It was really something to see, so I called to my wife and son, "Come look at this!" Of course I knew my wife is terrified of snakes, so I expected her response would be a source of humour for me...I wasn't too sure what my son would think. As it turned out, he was actually rather non-chalant about the whole thing. But he wouldn't come near it.
As for me... I was fascinated by it. It's path out of our lawn wasn't too long, but it wasn't exactly travelling all that fast. I came up behind it, took off my hat and tried to "shoo it" back in the other direction. No luck, but now I think about it, I seem to remember hearing somewhere that snakes rely on the sense of smell...not sure if they're actually blind, but this one sure didn't pay attention to my waving hat.
"Do you want me to get a box and put this thing in it?" I asked, already knowing full well what the answer would be, "Maybe keep him for a pet?"
Ha Ha Hardy Har Har, what a joker I am, eh?
I watched him glide to the corner fence then through it, wishing I'd had the guts to pick it up and play with it for a little while before he returned to his abode in Mutal of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I had a strong urge to pretend I was Alice Cooper for a few minutes, but even though I'm not particularly frightened by them, I don't relish the idea of picking them up and holding them.
He should, however, count himself a very lucky snake...for a moment there I seriously considered performing an impromtu re-enactment of an early scene from "The Passion of the Christ". You may remember the one...where Satan sends the serpent to Jesus and it crawls to His feet, at which time He fulfills, in a symbolic manner, the prophecy of Genesis 3:15.
But that was not to be...but I'll tell you this: if the thing decides to return and I catch him out in my yard, I seriously may have to get all "Jim Caviezel" on his ass.
He's been warned.
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