It's got to be noted...
Keith Jarrett is a phenomenal master of the jazz piano. His improvisations are playful bursts of fresh inspiration. Even when playing behind a soloist Jarrett's inventiveness refuses to be harnassed. His ivory-tickling is some of the tastiest in the genre.
But for all that it must also be said that Keith Jarrett makes some of the goofiest noises you're likely to hear as he's busting off the sweet riffage, to the point where it's almost impossible not to laugh. I'm not sure if that's a reaction he appreciates, but he should at least expect it.
His vocal ejaculations put me in mind of many things, few of which are the least bit pleasant.
For instance, immediately after twinkling a couple of ingenous trills over a mid-tempo groove he is likely to belt out an outcry remeniscent of an inebriated geriatric falling out of her wheelchair, moderately frightened (and frightening) but still happy as a clam as long as the tunes carry on.
I wonder if he makes these noises as some kind of test...like maybe he thinks his music is so damned good that noone's even gonna notice the gruntin'. On this point Mr. Jarrett would be in error.
I've also envisioned a crack smoking chimpanzee as I've listened to the squeals that emit from Jarrett's mouth as he becomes enraptured by the glory of it all.
One might wish to defend Jarrett's odd vocal mannerisms by pointing out that he is not the only globally recognized pianist with a mild case of Tourette's Syndrome---Glenn Gould also was quite inventive in the strangeness of his Bach-inspired glossolalia.
But that's just it, see?
When Gould grunted and groaned he sounded genuinely bizarre. It's an absurd experience hearing those weird sounds floating amidst the backdrop of the Goldberg Variations. Uncanny, I tell you, and not a little bit surreal.
But when Jarrett blurts his incomprehensible jibberish it sounds more like a clown with a head full of helium pointing at animals mating behinds cages in a zoo. Or maybe like a giant chicken walking across a hot stretch of asphalt pavement trying to get to the other side because that's just what chickens are paid to do.
The bottom line is that you simply cannot justify Keith Jarrett's annoyance factor by comparing it to the great Glenn Gould's similar proclivities.
Which all boils down to this one point:
Keith Jarrett would be well-served to put a muzzle on it. Yes, his virtuosity is astounding, but who notices talent when there's a sonic freak show trying to cut in?
Gotta love the Scottish bagpipe jig...gotta love the drone, like a cat with it's tongue frozen to an iced-over pole, makes you wanna throw on a skirt, get out in the middle of the floor and do a little hoe-down dance. You know, the kind that Jed and Granny Clampett used to do when Flatt and Scruggs came over for a visit and busted out a few bluegrass chesnuts.
You might as well.
You're alone. No need to get emberassed...
But somehow it's a sad truth that a bagpipe jig sounds woefully out of place without a pub full of friends to celebrate it with you.
This is ME when I was 11...
Okay, so it's NOT me, it's my son...
But it might as well be me.
He's got the look and the same taste in music...
Which is only partially true. Though he does share my fondness for the Beatles and classical music, he doesn't listen to much else yet. I'm sure he will. He's just now picking up the saxophone and I can help him learn to play that instrument, so I get a feeling he'll be getting into jazz.
Right now his current musical obsession is Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. You don't have to believe me. Just check this out:
Tonight he stars in his 5th grade school musical in the lead role of Floyd, the "Phantom of the School Room" or something like that. It's a Phantom of the Opera knock-off, so he couldn't be happier. This is the third year in a row he's had leading parts in his school plays. He is a little ham, though.The part this year required that he learn to play a few pieces on piano, chief of which is Beethoven's "Fur Elise", which he has quite mastered. He makes up his own melodies and songs and also likes to write short stories about his NeoPets. Quite a remarkably talented kid if I must say so myself.
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