Roy, the developmentally disabled guy I work with, is proving to be a very entertaining fellow in his own bizarre way. For instance, he refers to alcoholic beverages as "Curly Cords" and soft drinks are "Fake Curly Cords". For the life of me I can't figure out what the words "curly" and "cords" have to do with drinks, but it's funny.
At random moments throughout the day he will say things that I find hilarious, and I'm not sure exactly WHY he says these things, since they're usually so out-of-the-blue and off-the-wall. Many of these quips are declarations of what he is "going to do", and he reels them off with such sincerity that you wonder if he is really serious about doing them.
Yesterday I wrote down a list of a few so I could share them with you here:
~~~"I hope we get a violent tornado. I like riding them things. I like to wrestle them things."
~~~"She ain't nothin' but a chocolate lover."
~~~"I'm gonna buy me a mouse."
"What are you going to do with a mouse?" I asked him.
"I'm gonna play with him"
~~~"I'm gonna take a dump on my momma's cake."
~~~The other day he walked into the mental health clinic where he gets a bi-weekly injection of Haldol and announced to everyone in the waiting room, "I'm here to get my weekly shot of crack!" Several present thought this was quite funny. Then he said, "I'm going to eat a clock. Can I eat that computer?"
~~~"I'm gonna shit on my momma's custard pie."
~~~"I'm gonna take a hammer and bust the windows out of all pawn shops."
~~~"I'm gonna smoke me some beer."
~~~"I'm gonna buy me some Mexican gasoline."
~~~"I'm gonna raise hell in the gym. I'm gonna burst a basketball...blow it up real tight and burst it!"
~~~"I'm going to be the devil's horns."
~~~"Why don't I just blow some gas all over this town and stink it all up?"
~~~"I'm going to play my musical whistle."
~~~"I'm going to drink me some Clorox."
~~~"I'm going to drink me some Scotch...a whole jug of it."
~~~"Can I yell 'FIRE!' in a movie theater?"
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