More from Roy

Roy has proven to be a veritable fountain of humorous comments. Here are a few from today:

~~~"I'm gonna burn down a whorehouse. Jim McCloud, I'm gonna burn down his whorehouse. Burn down the Kickapoo Motel."

~~~"I'm eatin' horse shit."

~~~"I don't want to end up in no strange ghetto."

~~~"I had a dream I broke out windows last night...Glass makes pretty music when it breaks."

~~~"Get that fucked-up bicycle out of here."
It should be noted that there was not a bicycle in sight when Roy said this, so I asked, "Where's the bicycle?" to which he replied, "In the machine shop."

~~~"I'm gonna bitch slap my grandma. I'm gonna bitch slap my sister."
"Why would you want to do that?" I asked.
"Cause they're bitches...Push my momma off a bridge."

~~~"I'm gonna drink me some Mexican beer and go crazy like a wild Indian."

~~~"I eat shit all the time. It's good with peanut butter. I'm gonna eat me some cow shit. I'm gonna smoke me some dog shit. Dry it out in the sun, stick it in my pipe and smoke it. That's why you call cigars 'dog turds'".

~~~"I'm going to take me an overdose. I'm gonna piss off an oil well."

~~~"I'm gonna go on a hunger strike. I'm gonna sue DHS for 2.9 million cause they're robbing me of food stamps. They're robbing my white ass. N*****-fucking dope fiend."

~~~"I'm gonna drown in the sea of love, man."

~~~"I'm gonna break my stereo. I wanna see stereo fireworks."

~~~"Can I smoke my momma's crack?"

~~~"What do you think I am? Your damn whore?"

~~~"I'm gonna smoke my Mexican clock."

~~~Roy and I listen to the Oldies station all day long and we both like the DJ, Ronnie Kaye, who has been in radio & television for as long as both of us can remember. I made the remark to Roy that I've always liked Ronnie Kaye, to which he replied, "He's a fool, man...He's a stone fuckin' fool." (Regardless, Roy is as big a fan of Kaye as I am)

~~~"I'm gonna play my Australian flute".

~~~"I'm gonna play my farting violin."