Bryan has been writing a semi-regular blog on MySpace called "CoachZilla". It's basically a MAD magazine influenced parody of the people, places and things that happen at his school. I thought his last post was particularly humorous so I asked him if I could post it here. Surprisingly, he was not averse to the idea. So:
Newsflash: A giant burden has been lifted from our school today when Coach Hardman the ballerina proclaimed that he would dance over to another school because Vernie Creek Middle School was "severely lacking in unicorn murals".
Another Newsflash: A violent riot was started today by 6th grader's who couldn't stand more than one teacher. Mr. Casey seized this opportunity to sell CoachZILLA comics to the masses for their reading pleasure.
There will be a mandatory smooth jazz appreciation class today after school. All students are required to attend. Students will learn important skills such as:
-How to "zone out".
-Properly applying a beret
-Fake that "deep thought look"
-Listen to more than two minutes of smooth and contemporary jazz
A fight occurred in the sixth grade hall this afternoon at twelve o' clock over whose book was number 45. If 6th graders would put their names in their books and stop sharing lockers, a lot less people would have been hurt. Several teachers tried to step in and break the fight up, even Coach Jack who ran into town screaming, "HEY! HEY!" at some strange tone known only to whales.
In similar news, watch CoachZilla: The Corny Soap Opera. In the latest episode, Bessie the cow gives birth to a piece of crap!
Middle School Musical 4: Shut Up and Work has hit your local Quick Stop, with special sing along mode. Sing along to your favorites in the movie, such as:
-She's So Ugly (He Run Long Time)
-I Can't See My Feet
-I Think the Milk was Spiked
-Why is My Lunch Running Away From Me?
-Fritos-Special Performance By Coach R.
-Get Your Head Out Your Butt
-Why is Cartman Turning Red?
-I Woke Up and Decided I didn't Like You
-Puzzles-Special Performance by Mrs. Briggs
-Run Really Far, 'Cause Here Comes R!
-J.D. Broke the Desk
There is also a special Bonus Feature section in every copy of the CD! Includes:
-Cast Commentary
-Cast Commentary (Unrated Version)
-Games
-A Middle School Musical IQ Test (It's Rigged, or is it?)
-A Lesson on Rolling Your Eyes into the Back of Your Head- The Briggs Way
-"The Lunch Looks Poisoned" Featurette!
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