4.25.2008

become a vegetarian: you won't miss these

When our Pomeranian was so sick a couple of months ago we were told that he could not have any more "people food". Of course, I realize that the general consensus amongst veterinarians is that animals should not eat "people food" regardless of their medical condition. And yet, who can resist tossing a tasty morsel from your plate to a begging canine? Doesn't the Bible say something about dogs eating the crumbs that fall from their masters tables? Does the vet know better than God Almighty what's fine and proper for beasties to eat? (ha!)

But what could we do? The little bugger simply would not eat dog food of any kind. We tried 'em all with no luck. So we figured it might be okay to let him eat regular meat. We couldn''t afford to spend too much, though. We came up with the idea of giving him Vienna Sausages.

He loved them. They were his basic sustenance until his health improved and he started eating dog food again. Now he gets one as a treat whenever he does something especially deserving.

Which is the long way of arriving to my very succinct point:

These morsels are vile. I can't believe I actually ate them when I was a kid. Texture, flavor, odor...they all make me want to vomit.

Yet, as gross as Vienna Sausages are, the pure nastiness of Potted Meat Food Product is on such a grand scale that mere words fail to describe it. No doubt it is a necessity that the makers of this wretched can of "product" must include the word "FOOD" in it's name.

We were going to supplement our dog's Vienna Sausage diet with this stuff, to give a little variety to his diet. It's cheap...like 25 cents a can (which should tip you off as to the "supply and demand" of Potted Meat Food Product).

But get this! He took one whiff of it and backed away as fast as he could! He wouldn't touch it! Everyone who owns a dog can tell you that they are not above eating some pretty disgusting things. Ours is no exception. But he won't eat this shit!

I don't even want to dredge up any potential memories of eating this Meat Food in my youth. The mere thought that I might have fills me with nausea. I probably did. I deny it. I HAVE TO.

It's a safe bet that most people who have ever heard of Potted Meat Food Product are also familiar with it's mouth-watering concoction of ingredients. Just to remind you, and to warn any potential lucky soul who is ignorant of the "poor man's Spam Spread", here they are:

Mechanically Separated Chicken, Beef Tripe, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue, Beef Hearts, Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue, Water, Salt, Less Than 2 Percent Mustard, Natural Flavorings, Dried Garlic, Vinegar, Dextrose, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite.

Yummy!

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