TBN reality check, part one

It's hard for me to admit this, but there actually was a time when I watched the Trinity Broadcasting Network, that showcase for charlatans, that unwanted bastard son of Christendom. I watched and I tried to understand it...some of it I got, some of it eluded me, and a lot of it just made me downright angry. In the old days I guess I wanted to believe all that "name it and claim it" seed-faith bullshit...after all, that's a pretty good deal, don't you think? Better than going out, getting a job and earning the money to get the things you need...just send a check to Rod Parsley and wait for the blessings to come pouring in (these blessings, as you hope for and expect, will be in the manifestation of cold, hard cash, of course).
Now don't misunderstand me...I think Mr. Parsley has an energetic manner that is quite exhilarating to behold. His preaching style is nothing less than mesmerizing.
When he takes to healing folks, well let me tell ya, you can just about hear the jaws hitting the floor. But just you try to make sense out of anything he's sayin' and you will find yourself dazed and confused, wishing you had brought along a copy of your catechism (Catholic or Luther's Small or Large) so you could check for all the holes in his convoluted version of theology. The man has an uncanny knack for using countless words to say nothing at all.
And the REALLY crazy thing about the whole thing is that he has written not one but TWO books. I won't be so bold as to review them without having read them, but I get the feeling that, if they're anything like his sermons, you may be scratching you head after reading that last page, saying "Whu???"
Parsley is as staunch a conservative as you're likely to find living on this planet, and I consider myself fairly conservative myself, but with book titles like "Culturally Incorrect" and "Silent No More" you can assume with some degree of assurance that the rhetoric contained within his volumnous pages very likely makes Rush Limbaugh look like Al Franken.

More personal reflections on the denizons of TBN to come, featuring my unsolicited opinions (and/or cruel, unsubstantiated denunciations) of the likes of Benny Hinn, Paula White, Creflo Dollar, and more, more, more!