What was I thinking?
I wasn't even drinking
Integrity sinking
Both feet stinking
Silly silly hat
Wont'cha look at that!
Some call it "phat"
Here's my baseball bat
Lookin' like a dork
Eatin' with a fork
Chicken and pork
Barbequed stork
What kind of fool was I?
I made your mother cry
She looked me in the eye
And she told me goodbye
Through tears and salty drool
She said I was a fool
She threw me into the pool
Then flushed the toilet stool
I'm sorry for the tears
And for all the wasted years
You've told me loud and clear
I'm an idiot
Hardy har har
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