TV Judges RULE!

There's really not a lot you can do during the weekdays when you're waiting for a Social Security Disability appeal hearing (as I've been doing for the past year now). I listen to quite a bit of music, read a lot, waste time on the Internet and do my fair share of TV channel-surfing. Much more surfing than actually watching. Maybe I'm not easily entertained, but more likely television programs these days are a vast wasteland of mediocrity, surpassed only by the even more dismal, intellegence-insulting commercials.
But there is a channel that I often gravitate towards. It's not the Court TV network, though it might as well be. Every Monday through Friday morning and afternoon the program line-up consists of nothing but "People's Court" type shows (including, of course, "The People's Court").
Here's the schedule:

9:30-10:00AM-Judge Maria Lopez...I can't say I've ever watched her show. I'm guessing she represents the Latino judging circuit (based on her last name, but I could be very wrong about that). It's like most races and both genders are represented throughout the course of the televised small claims courts.
10:00-11:00AM-Judge Joe Brown...Judge Joe Brown (photo at bottom) has long been one of my favorites. Representing the African-American male community, he is a strict, hard-nosed mutha who often delights in moralizing. Notwithstanding, he is an affable, immensely entertaining gentleman. He is second only to...
11:00AM-12:00PM-Judge Mathis...Now, Judge Greg Mathis (pictured above) is my favorite of the lot. Also representing the male African-Americans, he's the one whose adolescent years were spent as a thug, who wound up in the pokey and then rebounded into the life of a trial lawyer. Ya gotta hand it to him, he's a bright and shining example of redemption and self-improvement. Judge Mathis is stern, yet laid-back and can crack a joke with the best of 'em. His litigants are always entertaining as well (often they are quite strange individuals).
12:00-1:00PM-The People's Court...The original small claims television show, originally presided over by the legendary Judge Wahpner. He's been gone a long time now, preceded by a few other judges, not the least of which was ex-New York mayor, Ed Koch. The current judge is Marilyn Milian, who aptly represents the caucasion female. I've sat through a couple of installments and it's not bad (would be better if Wahpner was still on board, but I guess he's gettin' up there in years). Milian is one tough cookie, but she's not as bitchy as Judge Judy.
1:00-2:00PM-Christina's Court...I confess I have never watched this show. I couldn't even tell you what Christina looks like. I can only imagine that she joins Ms. Milian in representing the caucasion female contingency.
2:00-3:00PM-Judge Alex...From what little I've seen, Judge Alex seems to represent the anal retentive portion of the white male community. He seems like a nice enough guy, though incredibly stern, yet not, like Judge Mathis, very laid back. In fact, he sits straight up in his chair behind the judge's desk like his back is being supported with a 2 by 4. Maybe he's just concerned about having proper posture and good alignment.
3:00-4:00pm-Judge Hatchett...Representing the black females of the world, I can't say I've seen enough of "The Hatchett" to have an opinion. She seems like a decent enough judge, but what do I know?
4:00-5:00PM-Judge Judy...Bitch. Always and forever. (representin' white, post-menopausal female bitchs all around the world)
5:00-6:00PM-Divorce Court...I have no idea of even what the judge's name is on this one. All I know is that she, like Hatchett, takes it to the African-American female demographic. I've been through a divorce myself...very likely that contributes to my almost zilch enjoyment of the show. Never watch it, never will.

And so end the compaints of the plaintiffs and the reasons and excuses offered by the defendants. Folks just can't get enough of it, apparently. I'll say this...it's a hell of a lot better than watching soap operas and game shows. Even though, in their own unique way, these are little more than game shows themselves, seeing as how all the money won is drawn from a fund provided by the sponsers. If you win your case, the money you get comes from that fund (which is a positive for the defendant, since he/she won't be out of any cash from their pocket). If you lose your case, everyone walks away with nothing (though I suppose the people on the show get paid a fee for appearing).
Big fun, watching the minor squabbles of average people exposed on national television. So richly satisfying to form an opinion of the individual cases and have them validated by the judges. Then again, if I'm wrong and the judge's decision is contrary to what I thought it should have been...well, that's when I feel like a jerk.