Allow me to explain.
Just as I've done several times in the past, I started a different blog that was meant to be an outlet for all the personal stuff I didn't really want to get into here...As usual I planned to write it anonymously (using a pseudonym), so that I would be free to let it all hang out. I felt that I couldn't do that here because I know that a few people read it (even if not too many) and this was stuff that I wanted to share but only on the condition that noone knew where it was coming from.
I promised myself I wouldn't delete it if things got to the point where I just couldn't stand the stuff I'd just as soon sweep under the rug.
But it got to that point, and rather quickly. I'll not go into detail as to what it eventually turned into, suffice to say that it was something I shouldn't have attempted and it brought to light aspects of my life and personality that I need to grow away from instead of drudging up to post on a blog, even if the intentions seemed honorable (and liberating) at the time.
So I broke my promise. I deleted it. I need to make a vow, as well, to not attempt such an endeavour again, as it turns out to be counterproductive to the goal I'd like to achieve with the thing.
The last 3 posts here were originally done for that blog. They were the only ones I felt I could transfer to this blog, which has always been my main blog since 2004. I like 'em pretty well and I think they hold their own with the other stuff I've done here (not that I think I'm really much of a writer, but I do like to go back and read the old stuff now and again).
I'm hoping that I can open up and free myself to be a little bit more personal here...I'm not going to wallow in the mire of certain vices I let get out of control under cover of anonymity...but I do think that I can let this thing be a little more "journalistic". When I initially started this thing I tried, for the most part, to veer away from that kind of stuff. But now I'm thinking, What the hell? Why not? If it gets me to posting more, gives me more pleasure in writing and helps me have a better time online then I probably need to start right now.
That's what I'm going to do. Along with it I've changed my template to something that's a little more streamlined, easier on the eyes (IMO), less cluttered...Taking advantage of Blogger's new template editing functions I have been able to accomplish in a short time what took me hours to set up on the old template. Not that there aren't some things from the old one that I wish I could have brought over here, but certain sacrifices must be made. It was a momentous occasion when I clicked on the "Change Template" button, because I really had invested hours upon hours upon hours in constructing what I considered a top notch blog page. All the band links are gone. The scrolling photos of the artists/bands is gone. The thing that broke my heart the most to lose was the "Albums I Like" slideshow. I tried to insert it into the current template, but I had no luck whatsoever. I still have the code, though, and if I can ever figure out where to put it (if it's even possible) I guarantee you I will. I miss it already. :(
The only big news around here is that I've left Jubal Modine & the Love Handles, the band I've played with for the last four months (you may remember the MySpace blog posts I copied to this one several entries ago).
As I told them when I broke the news, it wasn't something that I'd planned on or even wanted to do. There were several reasons that I quit, several of which I do not want to go into here. But the most relevant reasons were the following:
1. Sleep patterns disrupted. The hours we kept on weekends, not getting home until 2:30-3:30AM, were killing me. My biological clock is set to get me up at around 8:00 in the morning. I take Ambien every night to combat insomnia and usually I'm in bed by 10:00 or 11:00PM so that I can get more than 8 hours. Sometimes I'd get home at 3:30AM, take my Ambien, fall asleep close to 4:00 then get up at 8:00. 4 hours just doesn't cut it. I could stand no more of that.
2. My hearing. I've already got a pretty bad case of tinnitus and some of the small stages we had to play on just kicked it up a notch or three. Even wearing earplugs, as I did towards the end, didn't seem to help. I have just spent too much time over the years standing in front of drum sets with no hearing protection, basking in the glorious sound of live music with no thought of the damage it was causing. It's done now, so I'm moving on, hoping that the ringing will subside a little bit in time.
3. Travel. I realize that I didn't have to travel all that far or all that much to participate in this band. But it was on such a regular basis that I really got bored with it in no time. At present my car stereo is shut down...who knows but that some music would have made it more tolerable. Alas, it was "the sound of silence" every mile of the way. Before too long I was talking to myself to relieve the boredom. Crazy.
The wild thing about the whole broo-haha is that I quit on a Saturday night after a show, and the other guys were back playing another gig with a new bassist the following Saturday!
So it's not as if they actually needed me.
That makes me feel a little better about what I had to do.
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