10.06.2005

Google yer Needs and Torturing the Wife

I am currently torturing my wife by playing a CD I have from the Smithsonian Institution called The Silk Road, which she thinks is the absolute worst noise on the planet.
However, both my son and I concur that, though it may not appeal to everyone, it most definately has it's charms. So she is outnumbered, and we continue to enjoy the admittedly exotic and often strange sounds of music from the Mid-East regions.

Tina sent this Meme via the MySpace bulletin board, and I thought it was amusing. Here are the responses so far with my own at the very bottom...

Heres what you do:
Go to google.com and type "(your name) needs" Then pick the 5 funniest ones there.

If your name is James, you would put this in to the search engine: "James needs"

you got the idea

Then copy and paste this into a new bulletin with your answers filled in

**********************************************
1. Jacob needs to rebuild his outhouse and dig out his pit.
2. Jacob needs no introduction to the literate population of country.
3. Jacob needs some bears
4. Jacob needs active instrumentation
5. Jacob needs a rest before he is tied up again in a new position.
*****************************************************
1. jen needs taking out for fun.
2. jen needs to get her act together if she wants to stay.
3. jen needs to get back to reality and stop pretending it's disneyland.
4. jen needs a job!
5. jen needs all she can get right now.
******************************************************
Matt needs new liver, please help
Matt Needs Money
Matt needs a raise!
Matt needs to appropriate this book's title for his autobiography.
Matt needs prayers, and help and maybe just a balloon, a rainbow ...
******************************************************
1- Perhaps Sheryl needs a Bass Player / Pool Boy
2- Sheryl needs to try decaf (heresy to her)
3- Sheryl needs a swing DJ and a few dancers...
4- Sheryl needs the money to pay off loan sharks
5- Sheryl needs new hair
******************************************************

1- liz needs to be laundered
2- Liz needs to be taught a few things about fire safety
3- Liz needs to satisfy one person ... herself
4- Liz needs to live in Hawaii and have her own pineapple field
5- the next thing the evil Liz needs is a dozen deep-fried twinkies from a casino in downtown

***************************************************

1-Rebecca needs enlightenment!
2- Rebecca needs to get out and find a boyfriend.
3. Rebecca needs her food to be soft, or cut into small pieces, so
that it is easy to chew.
4. Rebecca needs a transfusion of blood.
5. Rebecca needs just one good, meaty, dramatic role

**************************************************
1. kelly needs a 12 year old to pee on! (really that was the first one
2.KELLY NEEDS HER BROTHER BACKSTAGE
3.Kelly Needs Modesty
4.Kelly needs to be part of a loving, committed "marriage
5.Kelly needs patience right now
*****************************************************
Kristin needs to be slapped for that brochure
Kristin needs to add chlorine to the water in the hot tub.
Kristin needs dust.
Kristin needs a tan
kristin needs a nickname cause she a cool lady who needs a cool name too.
****************************************************
Rev.Viki
"The world needs more creepy surf tunes"
"The Rev.Viki the protestant chaplain."
"I work with adults with special needs."
"In my opinion there needs to be more stuff out there like you"
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1. Heather Needs Two Therapists
2. Dad said that Heather needs to start wearing a brassiere.
3. Heather needs a female parent who can help show her appropriate ways to attract the attention of guys and learn how to choose appropriate partners
4. Heather needs to decipher the alien message
5. heather needs to seriously consider adding kibble to her diet

oh man.....disturbing to say the least!
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1. Meg needs to find something to sell, give away, throw out or burn.
2.Meg needs a drink.
3.The MEG needs to collect, use, retain, and disclose personal information.
4. Meg needs to get into this fantasy world -
she needs to escape.
5. Meg needs buttering up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Rich needs a haircut.
2. Rich needs our prayers once again.
3. Rich needs a shave.
4. Rich needs to find his value in his life in Christ
5. Rich needs regular sunshine, nature, music/dancing, contact and meaningful connection with people, and the time and space to give his gifts and help others.


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1. Leslie needs another hobby.
2. Leslie needs to poke Thomas but will not have a chance before the business meeting.
3. Leslie needs a new pair of shoes.
4. Leslie needs more evidence before she gets her hopes up.
5. Leslie needs to bare a little more.

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1. Davis needs big last-minute boost to defeat recall
2. Davis needs Internet capabilities that will foster commercial activity
3. Davis needs late night coffee
4. Davis needs to act now to stop all these tragic surprises from happening
5. Davis needs to know how many e's appear in the word encyclopedia
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1. Brad needs babies!
2. Brad needs a lever to get it open.
3. Brad needs to be the first to fertilize her eggs.
4. Brad needs to grow some balls fast.
5. Brad needs transitional care in order to be trained to cope with the problems arising out of his closed
head injury.
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1. tina needs to be kicked in the face multiple times
2. Tina needs to get a laugh every 10 minutes or she gets nervous.
3. Maybe dear Tina needs a referral to an anger management group
4. all Tina needs is a bottle of Merlot and she could rock Jeff's world.
5. Tina needs the names of those interested in sweatshirts.

____________________________________________________________________
1.
Jim needs a kidney (.com, even).
2. Jim needs a friend close enough to tell him that his presidency is failing.
3.
The Jim Mullen Foundation needs volunteers for our expansion office in Rosemont.
4. Major Jim needs to read some books.
5. Jim needs to lose some weight.

I daresay there's something to this..

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