For the last couple of weeks I have been working in a new house with a different individual than the ones I worked with during my first few months at the agency I'm currently employed by. It has been quite a "culture shock" experience adjusting to this new residence, which is a rat hole compared to where I was coming from.
So as to not break confidentiality, I will refer to the individual I'm working with as Roy. He is mildly mentally retarded and suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, which is more or less controlled by a bi-weekly Haldol shot.
He is one of the grumpiest people I have ever known, a hermit who would rather sit in the floor and listen to the oldies station on the radio all day long than literally anything else in the world. A chain-smoker, he fills the house with the putrid stench of stale tobacco and burns down no less than 3 packs a day. He drinks warm tea by the gallon and likes to call it his "liquid heroin". I don't think he's ever done any drugs, but he likes to make references to them as often as he can.
Roy has the foulest mouth of anyone I have ever known, and even though I have a high tolerance for not being offended by profanity, some of the things he was saying actually deeply offended to the point where I now insist that he no longer say them or I will ask for a transfer and no longer be his HTS. I guess the guy likes me, because he said he didn't want that to happen and he has not used the offending phrase again in my presence.
Roy has a couple of nasty habits. The most revolting is his penchant for picking the scab from a fresh sore that's on his arm and eating it (hope you weren't eating yourself when you read that). He gets very defensive if you call him on it, and will tell you to stop being so "nosey".
Not only does he have a taste for scab, he also picks his nose and eats the boogers. I've told him this can't be healthy, and when he gets angry at me for being nosey I tell him that it's my job to ensure that he stays healthy and that such dietary eccentricities can't be good for him. He could care less.
There are times when every few minutes he'll try to call someone on the phone and when he can't get ahold of whoever he's wanting to talk to he'll slam down the phone receiver and launch into a stream of loud, angry obscenities that would make Richard Pryor blush. Lots of name-calling and "n-word" labeling and an incredible combination of insulting curse words that is fascinating to witness. "Crack whore drug dealer," he might call one of the best friends he's got if he says he doesn't have time to talk to him right now (seeing as how Roy will probably call no less than 10 times in the course of an 8 hour shift, you can't blame the guy)...of course, he'll wait till the other guy has hung up on the other line before he starts spittin' out the hate. "If I was black he'd have time to talk to me." Very disturbing language that I would not tolerate from anyone without Roy's disabilities.
But he learned it all from people he'd lived in institutions with and you can't assume that he means anything more by it than a simple anger outlet. I'd rather him curse up a storm than be trying to hit me like some of these others are prone to do. I ain't in this racket to get myself hit, and I pity the fool that first lands one...
Now, back to Roy...there is one thing about him that absolutely fascinates me. He has the most comprehensive knowledge of pop/rock music, especially from the 60's & 70's, as anyone I have ever known in my life. He can tell you the name of the song, the name of the singer, members of the bands, name of the album it came from and name all of the other hits this artist might have had. He also knows a lot of music trivia, to the point that he can tell you that the noise in the break of Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime" is a table saw being started and stopped, then started again. It's pretty obvious that they were shooting for the sound of revving Harley Davidsons, but if you know it's just a table saw you can tell that's what it is...
He's not sure whether it's a Hammond or Wurlitzer that's used on the prominent organ riff that flows through Billy Swan's "I Can Help", but he knows that it's his favorite thing about the song...
He likes to play air guitar to the lead solo at the end of Al Stewart's "Palace of Versailles" (from the Time Passages album that we listened to together one afternoon). He says, "I know this solo well. Watch my face...I play it like I'm pissed off"...and sure enough, when the guitar started shredding those high notes he looked so mad I thought he was gonna smash his air guitar and start tearin' up the place, like someone had just stolen his mug of liquid heroin. One of the greatest air guitar performances I have ever seen in my life.
He knows that Paul Revere was no longer a member of the Raiders when they had their hit with "Cherokee Nation".
He relates that when he first heard Alice Cooper's "School's Out" on his 8-Track, where it sounds like a tape jamming and getting eaten by the recorder, he thought his player had gone kaput on him.
Just the other day they had a trivia question on the oldies radio station we listen to all day long..."What 60's hit does it's author claim has a title straight from a book in the Bible...even a hint, it's from the book of Revelation?"...
"'Crystal Blue Persuasion' by Tommy James and the Shondelles" Roy quickly guessed.
I could not for the life of me remember ever reading those words in any translation of the book of Revelation I have ever read, so I told him that I thought that was wrong.
I thought it might be "Turn! Turn! Turn" by the Byrds (before I had that Revelation clue), but knew that the lyrics were from the Bible, but not the title.
I actually got through to DJ Ronnie Kaye with my guess of Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction", which turned out to be wrong, but I wasn't the first or only one to guess that song.
Ronnie played a couple more songs and someone finally had the right answer...it was...can you believe this?..
"CRYSTAL BLUE PERSUASION" by TOMMY JAMES AND THE SHONDELLS...!!!
If I'd only paid attention to Roy's gut instinct, we would have been going to see Cameron Diaz in some theater production that was in town and a 20 dollar gift certificate for the Harbor House steak joint. Would have enjoyed a slice o' prime from there, so it was with a slight degree of guilt that I found myself explaining to him how we would have won if I'd only listened to him.
Still, I do not think the words "Crystal blue persuasion" are in the book of Revelation, or any other book of the Bible, especially not in that order. Tommy James may have claimed they were taken from there, but he was full of it...
It's taking some getting used to, but this might be a good situation for me, working with Roy. There are some days when I think I won't be able to handle some of his less endearing traits for much longer. But then there are times when I admit I have fun with the guy.
For instance, he set up the recorder and microphones one day and I had brought my acoustic guitar. We set about recording an album's worth of songs that we were planning to call "Livin' With Roy". Had looked forward to doing some more after the weekend but by the time I got there Monday morning he had let his ex-girlfriend pawn it.
It's a sick reality, but there are people in Roy's life who exploit him...they come over in the hours when he's alone (that's when I, as his HTS, am not with him during 8 hours of the afternoon) and steal his stuff, eat his food, all kinds of stuff. There's not a lot i can do about it, but it angers me that there are such heartless people in the world.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated about how my relationship with Roy evolves, if it gets the chance.
As for the previous post...no, I did not see my blog's name on the "Explore Blogs" scroll (on the blogger main page) when I updated it last night.
Now what's that all about, Blogger?
I demand my blogs inclusion on BLOGS OF NOTE immediately to make up for not seeing it in the scroll.
I'm gonna have to get Roy on yer case.
You don't want that...trust me.
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